Columbus Marathon concludes holiday week

STRANDED AT SECOND BASE

Culling the thoughts that occur when you re standing around waiting for something to happen

Another holiday week has come and gone, leaving us to slog through the hangover until Halloween.

On Monday we celebrated COLUMBUS DAY. If Christopher Columbus hadn t crossed the ocean blue in search of a new world, our sports landscape would look much different these days.

Today's NATIONWIDE BETTER HEALTH COLUMBUS MARATHON certainly wouldn t benefit from a different name.

Thank you, Christopher Columbus and your tyrannical exploits for sparing us from the CUYAHOGA BLUE JACKETS. Or the TUSCARAWAS CLIPPERS.

At the Blue Jackets current pace, they ll celebrate the holiday 48 more times before reaching 1,492 wins as a franchise.

Without his discovery, we might not have had the COLUMBUS PANHANDLES, of the now American Profession Football Association known now as the NFL. With the success of the CLEVELAND BROWNS and CINCINNATI BENGALS, some might argue that pro football has yet to return to the Buckeye State. In that regard, perhaps we shouldn t celebrate the explorer.

Without Columbus, who knows if Lawrence Columbus Davis, AKA CRASH DAVIS, goes on to earn one of the best nicknames in all of sports.

Later in the week, on Oct. 16, we celebrated BOSSES DAY presumably by honoring New York Giants tight end KEVIN BOSS. Or by sitting around the fire pit and regaling young ones with horror stories of the late GEORGE THE BOSS STEINBRENNER.

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30-SECOND TIMEOUT: Minnesota Viking quarterback BRETT FAVRE surpassed 70,000 yards passing for his career on Oct. 11. That's the equivalent of 40 MILES through the air or the rough distance between the stadium and his attorney's office by car.

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Has anyone noticed that it's October 17 and the MLB playoffs have just now entered the championship-series round? Perhaps it's time to shorten the regular season and actually finish the OCTOBER CLASSIC in October. As of right now, the World Series is slated to begin on Oct. 27. Watch the WORLD SERIES progressively go closer and closer to winter:

YEAR GAME ONE FINAL GAME

2009 Oct. 28 Nov. 4

2000 Oct. 21 Oct. 26

1990 Oct. 16 Oct. 20

1980 Oct. 14 Oct. 21

1970 Oct. 10 Oct. 15

1960 Oct. 5 Oct. 13

1950 Oct. 4 Oct. 7

1940 Oct. 2 Oct. 8

1930 Oct. 1 Oct. 8

1920 Oct. 5 Oct. 12

1910 Oct. 17 Oct. 23

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In the history of the Big-Four professional sports (MLB, NBA, NFL, NHL) only two players with the name Roy have won Rookie of the Year honors, aka ROY Award. ROY SEVERS of the ST. LOUIS BROWNS in 1949 and BRANDON ROY of the PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS in 2006-07. Amazing considering there's been a Troy, LeRoy, Gus and Gump taking home the hardware.

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EXPECT THE UN-EXPECTORATE: Why is it acceptable to spit on a baseball field? What is it about being between the dry chalk lines that makes athletes over-salivated?

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Speaking of curious things that shouldn t make our mouth's water, a website called Kleincast.com made news this week by launching its MCRIB FINDER, an interactive map that allows people with high cholesterol to locate the nearest MCDONALDS restaurant that serves the cult-favorite sandwich.

According to the map, a guy calling himself the Hamburglar (no joke) has reportedly spotted the sandwich at a McDonalds in Chandler, Ariz.

Reminds me of my favorite SIMPSON S bit:

KRUSTY THE CLOWN: Here is the last Ribwich. The animal we make it from is now extinct.

GUY ONE: The cow?

GUY TWO: The pig?

KRUSTY THE CLOWN: You re waay off. Think smaller, think more legs.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 17th, 2010 at 9:04 am and is filed under Stranded At Second Base. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.